Reduced to Rubble

In my limited training as grief counselor, I have read time and time again that we should resist the temptation to "rate" our griefs. All losses are awful, and it doesn't help to say to someone, "My sorrow is worse than yours!" As much as I agree with this principle, I think that the grief undergone by the biblical figure Job really is the worst one imaginable. Consequently, there are lessons to be learned from the way he dealt with his difficult circumstances, and it is to him that we now turn our attention.

The story is simple. Satan came one day to visit God in Heaven. God asks him where he has been recently, and Satan replies that he has been traveling 'to and fro' on the earth. God then asks Satan if he has noticed Job, a "blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil." Satan says that of course Job is good and fears God, because God has incredibly blessed him with family and friends and possessions. Satan argues that if those were removed, then Job would surely curse God. God then gives Satan permission to destroy seven sons, three daughters, and all his worldly goods. All these are taken away from Job, and his response is a famous one:

"And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away: blessed be the name of the Lord.' In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." (Job 1:21)

Apparently Satan is not pleased with this response of Job's and returns to God, challenging Him once again.

"Then Satan answered the Lord and said, 'Skin for skin! All that a man has he will give for his life. But stretch out your hand and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.'"

God assents to this, but with the condition that Job's life be spared. Job is then afflicted with "loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head."

This time even Job's wife is frustrated by her husband's calm acceptance of all that has happened to him:

"Then his wife said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.' But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:9-10)

The first lesson to be learned here is that God is sovereign over Job and Satan alike. God is the shaper of all events, and Satan, while causing trouble for saints on earth, is only allowed to go so far in his mischief. God clearly has Satan on a leash. He cannot do anything without the permission of God. While this does not answer all of our questions about our losses or about how God rules from heaven, we can take comfort in this: God is in charge. He does all things well, despite the grief and pain that we feel.

David's Comfort

There is one more observation that can be made concerning King David's reaction to the death of his infant son in 2 Samuel 12:

"But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."

In this passage David first professes a statement of reality: his child had died, and no amount of fasting or weeping could possibly bring him back to life. Death entered the world in Genesis 3, and has been wreaking havoc on this earth since then. Now it is David's turn to feel the effects of the Fall.

But David also expresses a profession of faith here; "I shall go to him." Is David just saying that he would go to the grave one day, just like his child went to the grave? What kind of comfort would that be to anyone? The very next verse tells us that David comforted Bathsheba, the child's mother, after this sad loss. What comfort could David have given? He believed what he wrote in Psalm 23, that goodness and mercy would follow him all the days of his life, and that he would "dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

David's infant son went to dwell in the house of the Lord forever. He would not return to David, but David knew that one day he would go to him in Heaven.

Words for the Weekend

“God saw Abraham’s sacrifice and said, ‘Now I know that you love me, because you did not withhold your only son from me’ [Gen. 22:12]. But how much more can we look at his sacrifice on the Cross, and say to God, ‘Now, we know that you love us. For you did not withhold your son, your only son, whom you love, from us.’ When the magnitude of what he did dawns on us, it makes it possible finally to rest our hearts in him rather than in anything else.”

Timothy Keller, Counterfeit Gods

Worshiping with Tears

Perhaps the most encouraging Scripture directly related to the loss of a loved one is found in 2 Samuel 12. It is the episode in which King David faces the pain of his son's death:

"But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, 'Is the child dead?' They said, 'He is dead.' Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, 'What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.' He said, 'While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.'”

Two points are worthy of our consideration. The first is the astounding fact that David, when he heard of the passing of his son, chose to immediately enter the house of the Lord and worship. Perhaps he was just following the good example set by Job when he lost all his sons and daughters in a horrific act of providence:

"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.'” (Job 1:20-21)

What courage! What faithfulness! What obedience! What amazing love that these two men, facing their darkest hour, chose to worship God. Scripture doesn't tell us how this was manifested - but it is reasonable to assume that both Job and David gave great thanks to God for their children.

And so we can do the same. While our initial reaction to the death of our loved ones might not have been one of immediate worship, we can surely begin even now. We can express to God our gratitude in allowing us even a short amount of time with the one that has been taken away from us.

They are so worth the pain that we are presently feeling, and though they will not come to us, one day we shall go to to them.

The Closed Gate Reopened

"Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, 'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.' And he was afraid and said, 'How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.'” (Genesis 28)

This is an intriguing end to a fascinating passage in Scripture. In the beginning of Genesis we learned that the gate to Eden was closed off to Adam and Eve. And yet now, in His mercy and compassion, it seems as though God is opening it up again. Surely Jacob saw, with human eyes, the visible entrance into Heavenly realms.

What a joy to behold, and yet it caused Jacob to be afraid. This was not a fear based on perceived judgment, for God had just promised a wonderful future for Jacob and his offspring. Rather, it is a fear based on the incredible power and holiness and loving-kindness of God that enabled Jacob to see the open gate of heaven.

Does it make you jealous of Jacob's experience? Wouldn't we all love to have a peek into Heaven? But yet I wonder if God hasn't given that to us already, and we're just not seeing it clearly. Isn't the very Word of God a window into His kingdom above? Aren't we privileged to participate in sacraments that draw us closer, in a mysterious way, into the presence of God? And what about worship itself?

We need to think about Jacob's dream whenever we enter into worship. The gathering of God's people is "none other than the house of God, and this the gate of heaven." That gate is opened to us when we worship God through Jesus Christ.

Can A Person Be A Ladder?

What is a ladder? One dictionary defines it as "...an often portable structure consisting of two long sides crossed by parallel rungs, used to climb up and down." But have you ever heard the question "Who is a ladder?" Jesus has the answer to that very odd question, and it is one that brings comfort to grieving souls.

The topic here refers to Jacob's dream in Genesis 28:

"Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!"

In a previous post we discussed the significance of the angels doing God's bidding by traveling between Heaven and Earth. But in John 1:51 Jesus makes an astounding statement, one that would surely not make Him any friends among the religious leaders of that time:

"And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

Jesus was very clearly identifying Himself as the "ladder" between Heaven above and the earth below. Here is John Calvin's analysis of this remarkable answer to the question "Who is a ladder?"

"It is Christ alone, therefore, who connects heaven and earth: he is the only Mediator who reaches from heaven down to earth: he is the medium through which the fullness of all celestial blessings flows down to us, and through which we, in turn, ascend to God. He it is who, being the head over angels, causes them to minister to his earthly members. Therefore, (as we read in John 1:51,) he properly claims for himself this honor, that after he shall have been manifested in the world, angels shall ascend and descend. If, then, we say that the ladder is a figure of Christ, the exposition will not be forced. For the similitude of a ladder well suits the Mediator, through whom ministering angels, righteousness and life, with all the graces of the Holy Spirit, descend to us step by step. We also, who were not only fixed to the earth, but plunged into the depths of the curse, and into hell itself, ascend even unto God. Also, the God of hosts is seated on the ladder; because the fullness of the Deity dwells in Christ; and hence also it is, that it reaches unto heaven."

And what does all this have to do with helping those mourning the loss of a loved one? It is through the work of Jesus that we have the hope of seeing them again. Christ is a stable ladder between heaven and earth. Anyone who dies in the Lord is safe in Him. That does not take away all our pain, but it does give us a secure hope, both for us and for our loved ones, that can never be taken away.

Words for the Weekend

“When we go to the cross, we see our God dying for us. If you let any other god down, it will beat you up. If you live for people’s approval or your career or possessions or control or anything else and you don’t make it or you mess up, then you’ll be left feeling afraid, downcast, or bitter. But when you let Christ down, he still loves you. He doesn’t beat you up; he died for you.

Let his love win your love, and let that love replace all other affections. The secret of change is to renew your love for Christ as you see him crucified in your place.”

- Tim Chester, You Can Change (Of First Importance)

Heavenly Servants

We're in the beginning of studying Genesis 28, the episode of Jacob resting his head on a rock and dreaming of a ladder reaching into Heaven. First, of course, this passage affirms the reality of life beyond this earth, especially when understood properly. And it is easy to understand it properly, because Jesus Himself explains what it all means. That is the subject of the next post.

In the meantime, though, the passage contains a very interesting sentence about angels.

"And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!"

Our culture, especially lately, seems to be very fascinated with angels. We see posters and books and music and calendars full of cherubic faces gazing up into the sky. But Genesis 28 doesn't match our cultural expectations. The angels in this verse seem to be very busy. But what are they doing?

Matthew Henry has a theory:

"Angels are employed as ministering spirits, to serve all the purposes and designs of Providence, and the wisdom of God is at the upper end of the ladder, directing all the motions of second causes to the glory of the first Cause. The angels are active spirits, continually ascending and descending; they rest not, day nor night, from service, according to the posts assigned them. They ascend, to give account of what they have done, and to receive orders; and then descend, to execute the orders they have received."

This fits in well with Hebrews 1:14, which tells us that angels are "...ministering spirits sent out to serve for the sake of those who are to inherit salvation." Some of the heirs of salvation are already at the top of Jacob's ladder, while some of us are left weeping here below. We know for sure that angels are servants to the heirs of salvation, working day and night for us, according to the express command of God.

I wonder how they serve our loved ones in heaven above and what they are doing now in serving us here on earth?

Dreaming of Heaven

It took me a very long time to decide which of the 690 passages in the Bible that use the word 'heaven' to write about next! There are just so many excellent ones that would help us all to understand more about the reality and existence of our future home. I narrowed down my search to one that was fascinating, and was also explained by Jesus Himself. That brought me to Genesis 28, the story of Jacob's dream:

Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, “I am the Lord, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” And he was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.”

What thrilled me so much about this particular passage is that I had never before really noticed the reference to 'the gate of heaven.' I did today, though, since my previous post was entitled "The Closed Gate." As a reminder, the gates of Eden were closed after the fall of our first parents, Adam and Eve. But here, just a few chapters later, it seems as though Jacob is actually seeing the gates of heaven. How delightful.

So what are the lessons to be learned in this passage? Certainly there are many, but our focus will be on the angels, the ladder, and the gate. More on these later. For now, consider the greatness of God in leaving us hints of heaven in this dream of Jacob. The reality symbolized in his dream will be the key to opening the gates of heaven again.

The Closed Gate

Ephesians 1:10 says that God's plan for the “fullness of time” is to unite all things in Christ, “things in heaven and things on earth.” Therefore, we can't deny the existence of heaven without also then abandoning God's eternal purpose (Ephesians 1:9, 3:11).

But in the beginning of the Bible, God and Adam are talking together in a place that already seems like heaven on earth. What went wrong?

The short answer is that sin, misery, and death entered the world (Genesis 3). The fall of Adam had consequences, and one of them was that God drove the first man out of the garden of Paradise, placing angels and a flaming sword at the entrance to prevent him from entering back into Eden. Soon after this, one brother murders another (Genesis 4), and a long list of people die (Genesis 5). This is the world we live in now.

Is everything gloom and doom? Is there any way to get back to life in the garden with God? Is all hope of heaven gone? Not at all. In fact, the word heaven is used 690 times in the rest of the Bible. And that does not even count all the references to heavenly existence that don't include the word heaven, but still talk about it.

What are some of those passages? We'll take a look at a few of them next.

Words for the Weekend

“If we have regarded religion merely as a means of getting things — even lofty and unselfish things — then when the things that have been gotten are destroyed, our faith will fail. When loved ones are taken away, when disappointment comes and failure, when noble ambitions are set at naught, then we turn away from God. We have tried religion, we say, we have tried prayer, and it has failed. Of course it has failed! God is not content to be an instrument in our hand or a servant at our beck and call.

Has it never dawned on us that God is valuable for His own sake, that just as personal communion is the highest thing that we know on earth, so personal communion with God is the sublimest height of all? If we value God for His own sake, then the loss of other things will draw us all the closer to Him; we shall then have recourse to Him in time of trouble as to the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. If here and now we have the one inestimable gift of God’s presence and favour, then all the rest can wait till God’s good time.”

—J. Gresham Machen, What Is Faith? (Of First Importance)

Odd News Friday: Warning!!!

It doesn't happen often, but every once in a while I am rendered absolutely speechless by an absurd news article. It happened yesterday. I'd be interested in what CandyceLand readers think of this one...

"A small publishing company is under fire after putting warning labels on copies of the U.S. Constitution, Declaration of Independence and other historical documents. Wilder Publications warns readers of its reprints of the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, Common Sense, the Articles of Confederation, and the Federalist Papers, among others, that 'This book is a product of its time and does not reflect the same values as it would if it were written today.' The disclaimer goes on to tell parents that they 'might wish to discuss with their children how views on race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, and interpersonal relations have changed since this book was written before allowing them to read this classic work.'" (foxnews.com)

Oh my.

God's Will, or Ours?

The topic in today's Women's Study book (The Prayer of the Lord by R.C. Sproul) was 'Your Will Be Done.' As you might imagine, the concept of God's will is not easy for any of us to wrap our minds around. Sproul did a good job, though, of explaining several of the different facets of the word 'will.' We had a lively discussion.

After everyone returned home, I received an email from one of the participants who noticed that Andree Seu had a very related subject (praying with faith) as her focus in today's blog, which you can read here.

And then I reread a devotional that another friend had brought to our attention at the end of our class today. It is so good that I want to share some of the insights on God's will written by a Puritan author named Thomas Manton:

"We may judge how we respect God's name and kingdom by our obedience to His will. This request in the Lord's prayer seeks a soft and pliable heart that we might be ruled by Him. Christ is not our King when we do our own will... As we pray 'Your will be done,' we are not only to obey actively, but to love the commandments of God, and to have our hearts carried out in greater desire for them, and to prefer them before liberty itself. We pray for His will over ours. Our will is the proudest enemy Christ has on this side of hell, and the cause of all the mischief that befalls us. The great contest between God and us is whose will shall stand: God's will, or ours? When we so pray (Thy will be done), we are begging for a willing heart to do His will (Psalm 143:10) and for skill to carry it out: 'Now may the God of peace...equip you with everything good that you may do His will (Heb. 13:20-21). God will give us a heart to do His will, and the skill and strength. He will draw us off from other things - pleasures, honors, and profits - and draw us to Himself."

As always, we ask for a 'soft and pliable heart' and God graciously provides. He enables us to do His will, and in return we are granted His greatest gift: God Himself. What a deal!

Teach Us To Pray

Have any of you read the writings of Dietrich Bonhoeffer? I hadn't until this past week. He was a German pastor who spent nearly two years in a concentration camp during WWII before being executed in 1946.

I'm not sure what initially possessed me to purchase Bonhoeffer's little book entitled Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible," but I have found it to be a wonderful collection of his thoughts on the Psalms. And in God's mysterious timing, the first couple of chapters have as their subject material the overlapping of the Lord's Prayer, (which the women of EPC are studying on Tuesdays - see two posts ago), with the prayers in the book of Psalms.

His first point is that the disciples were right in asking for instruction from Jesus on how to pray:

"In making this request, they confessed that they were not able to pray on their own, that they had to learn to pray. The phrase 'learning to pray' sounds strange to us. If the heart does not overflow and begin to pray by itself, we say it will never 'learn' to pray. But it is a dangerous error, surely very widespread among Christians, to think that the heart can pray by itself. For then we confuse wishes, hopes, sighs, laments, rejoicings - all of which the heart can do by itself - with prayer. And we confuse earth and heaven, man and God. Prayer does not mean simply to pour out one's heart. It means rather to find the way to God and to speak with him, whether the heart is full or empty. No man can do that by himself. For that he needs Jesus Christ."

And how shall we 'find the way to God?' As always, God Himself has provided the way:

"The child learns to speak because his father speaks to him. He learns the speech of his father. So we learn to speak to God because God has spoken to us and speaks to us. By means of the speech of the Father in heaven his children learn to speak with him. Repeating God's own words after him, we begin to pray to him. We ought to speak to God and he wants to hear us, not in the false and confused speech of our heart, but in the clear and pure speech which God has spoken to us in Jesus Christ. God's speech in Jesus Christ meets us in the Holy Scriptures. If we wish to pray with confidence and gladness, then the words of Holy Scripture will have to be the solid basis of our prayer. For here we know that Jesus Christ, the Word of God, teaches us to pray. The words which come from God become, then, the steps on which we find our way to God."

Oh let us take the posture of children in listening carefully to our Father's words, that we might have 'clear and pure speech' in our communion time with Him.

Words for the Weekend

"These days it is not just that the line between right and wrong has been made unclear. Today Christians are being asked by our culture to erase the lines and move the fences, and if that were not bad enough, we are being asked to join in the celebration cry by those who have thrown off the restraints religion had imposed upon them. It is not just that they ask we accept, but they now demand of us to celebrate it too."

Ravi Zacharias

Give and Take

Our Women's Study groups are presently reading The Prayer of the Lord by R.C. Sproul. It is a wonderful little book examining the model prayer that Jesus taught His disciples. This week we concentrated on the "Your Kingdom Come" part of the Lord's Prayer.

There was a very fascinating section of this chapter that explained how God's people, the Israelites, rejected God as their sovereign king by demanding through Moses that they be allowed to have a human king like all the other nations surrounding them. God granted them their request, but instructed Samuel to warn the people of the consequences of their decision:

"So Samuel told all the words of the Lord to the people who were asking for a king from him. He said, 'These will be the ways of the king who will reign over you: he will take your sons and appoint them to his chariots and to be his horsemen and to run before his chariots. And he will appoint for himself commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and some to plow his ground and to reap his harvest, and to make his implements of war and the equipment of his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive orchards and give them to his servants. He will take the tenth of your grain and of your vineyards and give it to his officers and to his servants. He will take your male servants and female servants and the best of your young men and your donkeys, and put them to his work. He will take the tenth of your flocks, and you shall be his slaves. And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.' " (1 Samuel 8)

And here is the insight that Sproul shared that amazed me:

"Did you catch the word that appears most frequently in this warning from Samuel? It is the word take. The king, Samuel says, will take, take, and take some more. Yet Scripture speaks of God as a King who gives and gives, blessing His people with every good and perfect gift."

How can we want a King just like all the other nations? We have the best King already, who even gave of Himself so that we would be able to enjoy all the blessings of His Kingdom forever.

Father, please restrain our folly. Help us to appreciate all that You have given us. May Your Kingdom Come.

Seeing Ourselves Through The Cross

What do you think of when you see a cross? Do you think of an innocent man who paid for a crime he didn't commit? Do you see a pitiful end to a man who held such promise? Do you wonder if this was the strangest way to start a world religion?

I recently came across another perspective that seems more accurate. It's from The Message of Galatians by John Stott.

“Every time we look at the cross Christ seems to say to us, ‘I am here because of you. It is your sin I am bearing, your curse I am suffering, your debt I am paying, your death I am dying.’ Nothing in history or in the universe cuts us down to size like the cross. All of us have inflated views of ourselves, especially in self-righteousness, until we have visited a place called Calvary. It is there, at the foot of the cross, that we shrink to our true size.”

The cross not only tells us about about the Man who died there, it also tells us something about ourselves. At the cross we come to grips with what Stott calls "our true size." That may sound negative, but it can be a very positive and liberating experience for us to realize that we have an inflated view of ourselves. It is more stable and spiritually healthy to find our worth in the greatness and love of the Man who died in our place, than to cling to the delusion that we are such good people that we really did not need Christ to do what He did for us.

It is a good for us to see how needy we really are.