Reduced to Rubble

In my limited training as grief counselor, I have read time and time again that we should resist the temptation to "rate" our griefs. All losses are awful, and it doesn't help to say to someone, "My sorrow is worse than yours!" As much as I agree with this principle, I think that the grief undergone by the biblical figure Job really is the worst one imaginable. Consequently, there are lessons to be learned from the way he dealt with his difficult circumstances, and it is to him that we now turn our attention.

The story is simple. Satan came one day to visit God in Heaven. God asks him where he has been recently, and Satan replies that he has been traveling 'to and fro' on the earth. God then asks Satan if he has noticed Job, a "blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil." Satan says that of course Job is good and fears God, because God has incredibly blessed him with family and friends and possessions. Satan argues that if those were removed, then Job would surely curse God. God then gives Satan permission to destroy seven sons, three daughters, and all his worldly goods. All these are taken away from Job, and his response is a famous one:

"And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away: blessed be the name of the Lord.' In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." (Job 1:21)

Apparently Satan is not pleased with this response of Job's and returns to God, challenging Him once again.

"Then Satan answered the Lord and said, 'Skin for skin! All that a man has he will give for his life. But stretch out your hand and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.'"

God assents to this, but with the condition that Job's life be spared. Job is then afflicted with "loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head."

This time even Job's wife is frustrated by her husband's calm acceptance of all that has happened to him:

"Then his wife said to him, 'Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die.' But he said to her, 'You speak as one of the foolish women would speak. Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?' In all this Job did not sin with his lips." (Job 2:9-10)

The first lesson to be learned here is that God is sovereign over Job and Satan alike. God is the shaper of all events, and Satan, while causing trouble for saints on earth, is only allowed to go so far in his mischief. God clearly has Satan on a leash. He cannot do anything without the permission of God. While this does not answer all of our questions about our losses or about how God rules from heaven, we can take comfort in this: God is in charge. He does all things well, despite the grief and pain that we feel.

David's Comfort

There is one more observation that can be made concerning King David's reaction to the death of his infant son in 2 Samuel 12:

"But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."

In this passage David first professes a statement of reality: his child had died, and no amount of fasting or weeping could possibly bring him back to life. Death entered the world in Genesis 3, and has been wreaking havoc on this earth since then. Now it is David's turn to feel the effects of the Fall.

But David also expresses a profession of faith here; "I shall go to him." Is David just saying that he would go to the grave one day, just like his child went to the grave? What kind of comfort would that be to anyone? The very next verse tells us that David comforted Bathsheba, the child's mother, after this sad loss. What comfort could David have given? He believed what he wrote in Psalm 23, that goodness and mercy would follow him all the days of his life, and that he would "dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

David's infant son went to dwell in the house of the Lord forever. He would not return to David, but David knew that one day he would go to him in Heaven.

Words for the Weekend

“God saw Abraham’s sacrifice and said, ‘Now I know that you love me, because you did not withhold your only son from me’ [Gen. 22:12]. But how much more can we look at his sacrifice on the Cross, and say to God, ‘Now, we know that you love us. For you did not withhold your son, your only son, whom you love, from us.’ When the magnitude of what he did dawns on us, it makes it possible finally to rest our hearts in him rather than in anything else.”

Timothy Keller, Counterfeit Gods

Worshiping with Tears

Perhaps the most encouraging Scripture directly related to the loss of a loved one is found in 2 Samuel 12. It is the episode in which King David faces the pain of his son's death:

"But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, 'Is the child dead?' They said, 'He is dead.' Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, 'What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.' He said, 'While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.'”

Two points are worthy of our consideration. The first is the astounding fact that David, when he heard of the passing of his son, chose to immediately enter the house of the Lord and worship. Perhaps he was just following the good example set by Job when he lost all his sons and daughters in a horrific act of providence:

"Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.'” (Job 1:20-21)

What courage! What faithfulness! What obedience! What amazing love that these two men, facing their darkest hour, chose to worship God. Scripture doesn't tell us how this was manifested - but it is reasonable to assume that both Job and David gave great thanks to God for their children.

And so we can do the same. While our initial reaction to the death of our loved ones might not have been one of immediate worship, we can surely begin even now. We can express to God our gratitude in allowing us even a short amount of time with the one that has been taken away from us.

They are so worth the pain that we are presently feeling, and though they will not come to us, one day we shall go to to them.

The Closed Gate Reopened

"Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, 'Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.' And he was afraid and said, 'How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.'” (Genesis 28)

This is an intriguing end to a fascinating passage in Scripture. In the beginning of Genesis we learned that the gate to Eden was closed off to Adam and Eve. And yet now, in His mercy and compassion, it seems as though God is opening it up again. Surely Jacob saw, with human eyes, the visible entrance into Heavenly realms.

What a joy to behold, and yet it caused Jacob to be afraid. This was not a fear based on perceived judgment, for God had just promised a wonderful future for Jacob and his offspring. Rather, it is a fear based on the incredible power and holiness and loving-kindness of God that enabled Jacob to see the open gate of heaven.

Does it make you jealous of Jacob's experience? Wouldn't we all love to have a peek into Heaven? But yet I wonder if God hasn't given that to us already, and we're just not seeing it clearly. Isn't the very Word of God a window into His kingdom above? Aren't we privileged to participate in sacraments that draw us closer, in a mysterious way, into the presence of God? And what about worship itself?

We need to think about Jacob's dream whenever we enter into worship. The gathering of God's people is "none other than the house of God, and this the gate of heaven." That gate is opened to us when we worship God through Jesus Christ.

Can A Person Be A Ladder?

What is a ladder? One dictionary defines it as "...an often portable structure consisting of two long sides crossed by parallel rungs, used to climb up and down." But have you ever heard the question "Who is a ladder?" Jesus has the answer to that very odd question, and it is one that brings comfort to grieving souls.

The topic here refers to Jacob's dream in Genesis 28:

"Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!"

In a previous post we discussed the significance of the angels doing God's bidding by traveling between Heaven and Earth. But in John 1:51 Jesus makes an astounding statement, one that would surely not make Him any friends among the religious leaders of that time:

"And he said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you will see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

Jesus was very clearly identifying Himself as the "ladder" between Heaven above and the earth below. Here is John Calvin's analysis of this remarkable answer to the question "Who is a ladder?"

"It is Christ alone, therefore, who connects heaven and earth: he is the only Mediator who reaches from heaven down to earth: he is the medium through which the fullness of all celestial blessings flows down to us, and through which we, in turn, ascend to God. He it is who, being the head over angels, causes them to minister to his earthly members. Therefore, (as we read in John 1:51,) he properly claims for himself this honor, that after he shall have been manifested in the world, angels shall ascend and descend. If, then, we say that the ladder is a figure of Christ, the exposition will not be forced. For the similitude of a ladder well suits the Mediator, through whom ministering angels, righteousness and life, with all the graces of the Holy Spirit, descend to us step by step. We also, who were not only fixed to the earth, but plunged into the depths of the curse, and into hell itself, ascend even unto God. Also, the God of hosts is seated on the ladder; because the fullness of the Deity dwells in Christ; and hence also it is, that it reaches unto heaven."

And what does all this have to do with helping those mourning the loss of a loved one? It is through the work of Jesus that we have the hope of seeing them again. Christ is a stable ladder between heaven and earth. Anyone who dies in the Lord is safe in Him. That does not take away all our pain, but it does give us a secure hope, both for us and for our loved ones, that can never be taken away.

Words for the Weekend

“When we go to the cross, we see our God dying for us. If you let any other god down, it will beat you up. If you live for people’s approval or your career or possessions or control or anything else and you don’t make it or you mess up, then you’ll be left feeling afraid, downcast, or bitter. But when you let Christ down, he still loves you. He doesn’t beat you up; he died for you.

Let his love win your love, and let that love replace all other affections. The secret of change is to renew your love for Christ as you see him crucified in your place.”

- Tim Chester, You Can Change (Of First Importance)