Mother's Day

In my various roles as grief counselor, pastor's wife, and sorrowing mom and daughter myself, I know first-hand just how brutal Mother's Day can be. So many wonderful tributes to so many wonderful mothers and that is how it should be. But there are many people who have less than Hallmark-card relationships that are hard to admit to the world, let alone celebrate. The obvious ones are those who have lost their own mothers to death. While this is somewhat to be expected, it is hard when it has just happened, or happened long ago and many years have passed and that ache is still there. Of course there are the moms who have lost children to death. There are those of us that of course are immensely thankful for the kids we have here on earth, but there is still the one phone call that will not come in today, one less person in that picture around the family table. There are moms who never got to hold the baby they once carried in the womb upon whom many joyful dreams were shattered by a doctor's discovery of no heart beat. Many women never even got to that point - never able to conceive. There are both daughters and sons who have estranged relationships with their moms. Some mothers, quite frankly, are very difficult to be with - opening up breaches in the family dynamics each time they are together. And kids do this as well to their mothers. This is not an exhaustive list, as the above examples are but a few of the ways we can say Mother's Day "is complicated." So what to do? How to survive such difficult circumstances? My suggestion is to embrace those that God has placed in your path. Missing your mom? Hug that elderly woman in your church who is alone now - bereft of her children. Missing children in your life? Volunteer to babysit for that haggard single mother who just might like to grocery shop alone for once. Difficult relationship with your mother? Remember that God said "Honor your mother and your father," reminding yourself that Scripture does not add "...unless they are jerks to you." There is great blessing in reaching out to others who are suffering silently or alone. All this may not exactly take away the pain that you feel, but perhaps it will be God's way of redeeming a loss that has become an important part of who you are today. Happy Mothers Day!