Dreams That Cannot Be...

Long-time readers of CandyceLand know that I am a big fan of Andree Seu, a columnist for World Magazine. She is the one, actually, who initially inspired me to write a blog. Her writings proved that one didn't have to write an entire book in order to be a "writer." Her words, in small essay form, intrigued me enough to try out this medium of blogging.

Her latest column, then, is so wonderful that I can't help but comment on it and apply it to my own life. It was written and published online just last Friday (May 21st) and is entitled "We Propose, God Disposes." It is based on Romans 1:13.

"I want you to know, brothers, that I have often intended to come to you (but thus far have been prevented), in order that I may reap some harvest among you..."

As Andree points out, the most interesting phrase here is "I have often intended to come to you." We know that there was nothing inherently wrong or sinful in Paul's plan to visit his friends, yet God repeatedly denied Paul the opportunity to do so. Very often, at least in my life, and probably yours, God overrules even very good dreams that we have, dreams that even seem so in line with God's very own teachings. Here is how Andree interprets this:

"It did me good today to notice that verse and to realize that even the Apostle Paul prayed for things that did not materialize. I am assuming that each time Paul 'intended,' or 'planned (NKJV),' to visit the Romans, he had prayed about it. He prayed with the assurance that his request was for good and godly things—he had kingdom expansion on his mind. He prayed knowing that God was able to remove all obstacles that might prevent him. And yet 'often' he had been 'prevented' from going ahead with a godly plan. He had perhaps made copious preparations, and perhaps found what seemed to be open doors and green lights. He perhaps canceled other engagements and packed his bags and lost money on the venture. What did me good was Paul’s evident lack of theological concern regarding these unanswered prayers. He doesn’t feel the need to explain or defend much."

All of this brought to mind something that Steve and I 'intended' to do for God and for some orphans in Romania several years ago. For three years we attempted to adopt a sibling group of 5 children. (Three of the kids are pictured above.) The Reader's Digest version of this very long story involved Steve and multiple visits to these kids, battles with State Department officials, so much bureaucratic red tape and paperwork, etc... But Romanian and American officials ultimately said no. Which meant, of course, that God said no.

I remember at the time of our disappointment thinking and even saying something like "Well, we don't understand what God did here in this adoption saga, but probably in 5 years or so we'll know what this was all about!" I can emphatically state that I have even less of a clue now as to why God said no than I did when it first happened. So at present I say "Well, probably when we get to Heaven we'll find out the reason behind those years of effort to bring those children into our home." But will we know then?

I will give my favorite author the last words here - since I can think of no better way to interpret this strange Providence of ours regarding our efforts to help Monica, Ionel, Mihai, Vasili, and Elena:

"I need to stop doubting God’s existence and the meaning of life whenever my prayers and godly endeavors don’t pan out as I prayed. Paul is my model. He prayed, made plans, and moved forward on his plans. And when all that prayin’ and plannin’ did not issue in his desired goal, he was as confident in God as ever."

I sincerely hope that I can follow Paul in being content in the midst of confusing and perplexing situations. How about you?