One of the most fascinating Scriptures to me is the account at the end of Genesis 32 of Jacob wrestling with God:"The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip."
What an amazing story - Jacob physically wrestled with God - and survived. Jacob then displayed such boldness by refusing to let go of God until He blessed him! Wow!
I remembered this passage because yesterday was such a difficult day for me. I really felt that I was "wrestling with God" in my own way. It started with a terrible night's sleep - thinking through all the logistical details of preparing to facilitate our first GriefShare class without knowing how many participants would come (if any). How should I arrange the room? Do I use tables or not? Did I have enough books? Then we had various tech problems setting up to show the DVD. Nothing was easy...
But the hardest part of the day was processing my many doubts and insecurities about even teaching this class in the first place. I had continuous thoughts like "How do you think you will be able to help people when you are still such a wreck yourself? What were you thinking when you came up with this plan to become involved in grief counseling? You can't do this!" On and on I was hit with arrows from Satan and my flesh. I was miserable.
And so I wrestled - crying out to God all day long for relief. My thoughts and confusion and sorrow and fatigue were lifted up to God - thanks to many friends interceding for me. But the end of the night is here - it's now 10:55PM, I have returned home from GriefShare, and God has indeed blessed me. 12 hurting people showed up, and 3 more called to say that they were prevented from coming because of illness. I had an incredible time of meeting new friends and sharing their terrible sorrows. Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow.
I am limping, but I have been blessed.
Well indeed you have been blessed, and so have 12 other hurting people. May the God of all comfort bring healing to all who come as His Holy Spirit does His work in these beautiful fragile pots.
ReplyDelete"For He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the openning of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion-to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness,the planting of the Lord that He may be glorified."
Isaiah 61:1b-3 DS
Some of the sweetest souls are those who have been wrecked, become broken vessels, through the shattering of grief. The light of God's power and love shines more brightly through the cracks, enabling others to share in the warmth and see the path. God Bless you and all those sharing their grief and the comfort of His Love.
ReplyDeletelimping with power!
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