Writing an Introduction

I find myself this morning in a very ironic situation. I have been assigned the duty of writing an Introduction to a book on Heaven after struggling for more than two years with doubts about its very existence. Fortunately, I am in good company. C.S. Lewis also found himself fighting disbelief: "You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you." This is my experience; this is my challenge.

So how did I come to write Heaven's Comforts: A Guide to the Grieving Soul? I lost someone very dear to me, my twenty-two year old son. It wasn't until the initial shock of his death wore off that I could even begin to process what I believed or did not believe. Spiritual anesthesia is a wonderful mercy, but it doesn't last forever. Little by little and in various ways the notion of life after death crept into my consciousness. Did I believe in Heaven or not? Was this concept real or a figment of my imagination? Everyone around me assured me of Heaven's existence, and that my son was surely there, but was it true? I desperately needed to know. I needed to feel the truth, not just know it. And therein was my first problem.

During the last two years I have often said that I experienced a real disconnect between what I knew to be true, in my mind, and what I felt to be true, in my heart. This mind/heart barrier was so painful to experience. On the one hand, I have studied the Bible continuously for nearly twenty-five years and believe it to be God's handbook for doctrine and living. On the other hand, my heart was so sorrowful that I felt no comfort because I couldn't actually experience Heaven while I still lived here on earth. In the words of C.S. Lewis again, "Only the locked door, the iron curtain, the vacuum, absolute zero." What to do?

But then something curious happened. I began to study what Scripture said about Heaven, and found that there is so much contained in the pages of the Bible that was previously hidden from me until it "...became a matter of life and death." Surprisingly, I realized that the only times I really 'felt' the truths of Heaven were when I was teaching them to someone else, particularly to the wonderful, caring women of my church. Is it possible that convincing others of the comforts of Heaven brought me comfort as well? Could it be that God really does reward those that diligently seek Him? (Heb:11)

So now you know my secret. This book is written by someone who has struggled with unbelief concerning the doctrine of Heaven. I am not completely healed of this sin quite yet, but am convinced that writing and teaching and sharing is the only way for me to make progress in this area.

My prayer has remained the same for these many months: "I believe, help my unbelief." (Mark 9:24) May God bless us all in this endeavor.